Who Had the Worst Week?

• A brand new driving instructor – it was his second day on the job – crashed his car into the Lakewood driving school where he worked.
• An Italian cheesemaker died after being crushed by thousands of rounds of Grana Padano cheese in the aging room of his factory in northern Italy.
• The mayor of Tampa reeled in a cooler-sized package of cocaine worth $1.1 million while fishing with her family in the Florida Keys.
• A Texas woman is recovering after she was simultaneously attacked by a snake and a hawk as she mowed her lawn. The snake was dropped mid-air by the hawk, and it landed on the woman and wrapped itself around her arm. The hawk then swooped down trying to re-snatch the snake.
• A massive data breach at the Colorado Department of Higher Education has affected people who taught at or attended a Colorado high school at almost any point this century. Names and social security numbers were among the information taken.
• Colorado is experiencing an “unprecedented” West Nile virus outbreak due to the heavy rains earlier this summer. Even more concerning is that the peak is not expected until September.
• A Lufthansa pilot upset over having his flight diverted flew the commercial plane in a penis-shaped pattern before finally landing in Malta.
• Former Colorado Supreme Court Chief Justice Nathan “Ben” Coats was censured for his role in violating the code of conduct related to a secret contract with a former administrator.
• If you are tired of Californians moving to Colorado, you are not going to like this story. Hank the Tank, a 400-pound female black bear who has ransacked dozens of houses in South Lake Tahoe, has been relocated to our state. Hank said she is looking forward to lower taxes.
• NASCAR suspended driver Noah Gragson indefinitely after he “liked” a racist meme with a photo of George Floyd on social media.
• The repressive regime of Malaysia has made owning an LGBTQ-themed Swatch punishable by up to three years in jail.
• Fifty-three people have now died in the wildfires in Maui and the historic town of Lahaini has been destroyed.
• Commercial real estate continues to suffer following the pandemic and a continued work-from-home trend. The latest evidence: a vacant Denver Tech Center building is on the market for one-third the price that its owners paid for it in 2013. That’s a $50 million discount.
• Speaking of office space, former co-working darling WeWork disclosed in an SEC filing that, “Substantial doubt exists about the company’s ability to continue as a going concern.”
• The Houston Texans continue to live up to their reputation as the sexual assaultiest NFL franchise.
• DJ Casper, the creator of the ubiquitous dance hit, the “Cha-Cha Slide,” passed away at the age of 58.

So, who won the week?

• 9News sports reporter Rod Mackey has moved down the street to CBS4.
• The Cherry Cricket and Snarfburger were the big winners of the 2023 Denver Burger Battle.
• Denver Broncos QB Russell Wilson and his singer wife Ciara are expecting their fourth child.
• Telluride’s Stronghouse Brew Pub was named the best in the country by USA Today.