Who Had the Worst Week?

• TV reality star Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Watkins plans to matriculate at Denver’s Regis University in the fall. Despite earning about $2.75 million during the run of her TLC show, she somehow received a $21,000 scholarship.
• Twitter is now X. As technology reporter Kara Swisher noted: “Rebranding HBO to Max was the dumbest rebrand in recent history. Elon: Hold my beer and/or whatever is being partaken at 3 am.”
• Some scientists say that the Gulf Stream could collapse as early as 2025, a development that would bring catastrophic climate impacts.
• Singer and activist Sinead O’Connor, who made the Prince song “Nothing Compares 2 U” a No. 1 hit, passed away at the age of 56.
• It has been so hot in Phoenix that even the cactuses can’t take it.
• Nearly 22% of the calls made to Colorado’s suicide hotline went unanswered in April and May of this year.
• Former Denver Bronco Derek Wolfe is no longer the co-host of 104.3 The Fan’s afternoon drive-time radio show. He left less than a year after he joined the show “to focus on other interests.”
• Three years after Coloradans voted to reintroduce them, Colorado still can’t find anyone to give us wolves.
•  Tool manufacturer Stanley Black & Decker spent $90 million on a Texas tool factory whose automated system was such a bust the few tools it actually made are now considered collector’s items.
• The BBC has apologized after one of its reporters tried to get the captain of the Morocco women’s national soccer team to out gay teammates.
• New Denver Broncos head coach Sean Payton didn’t hold back when asked his thoughts about last year’s head coach Nathaniel Hackett: “It might have been one of the worst coaching jobs in the history of the NFL. That’s how bad it was.”
• Trevor Forbes, the CEO of Wyatts Towing, has resigned from the state of Colorado’s Towing Task Force that makes recommendations to the PUC. The reason appears to be a state investigation into allegations his company is running “an illegal loan program for towed vehicles.”
• A broken audio system turned a $2 million Aspen wedding into “a date which will live in infamy.” That is according to hyperbolic real estate developer Craig Spencer, whose daughter’s March 2022 wedding apparently experienced Pearl Harbor-like conditions. According to Spencer’s lawsuit, “The failure of the audio system caused a cascading number of issues that essentially ruined the wedding,” including pushing the bride and groom’s entrance back to … gasp … 9:15 pm. The kicker: sixteen months later, the bride and groom are reportedly divorcing.

So, who won the week?

• CBS4 anchor/reporter Marissa Armas announced she is leaving the station.
• The U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team has scored four goals on their way to its 1-0-1 record in the FIFA Women’s World Cup so far, and all of those goals have been scored by Coloradans Lindsay Horan and Sophia Smith.
• The movies “Barbie” and “Oppenheimer” raked in a collective $302 million during their opening weekends, reminding studio executives of the kind of business movies used to do before the pandemic. Even more surprising, the two very-different movies became a sort of bizzaro double feature – “Barbenheimer” – for many movie-goers.
• Nine-year-old Jaxson Finken is representing Longmont in the kids division of the U.S.A. Mullet Championships. The competition may be tough, but Finken says his confidence in his mullet is a “10 out of 10.”
• Former Fox31 political reporter Joe St. George became a father over the weekend.
• The University of Colorado announced it is leaving the PAC-12 Conference and rejoining the Big 12.
• Rumors have Tina Fey taking over “Saturday Night Live” when 78-year-old Executive Producer Lorne Michaels steps down.